accidentally in love, no way.

Thursday, November 30, 2006

i will not post here anymore here lo...

go to http://somethingaboutloveandme.blogspot.com =) enjoy!

; Love me, Love me Not

10:18 PM

Sunday, November 19, 2006

what is it?
am i thinking too much?

i seems to have two different types of personality. normally, i am just like normal kid behaves nothing happened, even if the whole world is collapsing and when i am angry, i am always so harsh to everything. was it part of me?

i dunno, very confused now. maybe i shall seek His words.

speaking in tongues are a privileges to christian.
speak with the flow of Holy Spirit, sing a song from it.
Praise His name,
and it's quite amazing that, you are something so small in God's eyes, yet He will still listen to your-own-self-creation-language. kinda interesting and yup appreciate that a lot.. woo hoo!

that's all for today.

nothing can compare to Him.
may the Holy Spirit guide me to my Father in Heaven.

God Head Three in One,
Father, Spirit, Son,
Beginning and the End,
Beginning and the End.

Simply amazing.

Leaders are special people who do things that people dun understand.

; Love me, Love me Not

11:33 PM

throughout the days,
am i thinking too much or the vision is appearing in my head? i dunno. maybe it's just a dream.but praise God, what appears in my dreams are something that will happen in the future? i dunno. but i really hope the bad things in my dreams doesnt appear to my loved ones.

been busying throughout the whole week and yesterday night sleep was a great one. didnt know that sleeping is such a good thing. of cos must keep on having the feeling is to make myself weary.

am i sick? certainly not.
i realised that i dun need any gf, but maybe good frens. and if it's my better half, i will sure go all the way, no matter what happens, but that's really hard, because most of the gals around my age, they are still yayapapaya, a little princess, and not all gals; but those who are in "not all" category well, they are mostly taken up. =), which is a good thing. whateva it is, focus my studies, my work and His works.

i may be tired and weary, yet His love is still gripping me on, keep me going, i may felt asleep in sermons, i dun care. if my God is angry with me, please forgive me, i will repent. Praise God that Pastor Khong is back, new speech.

when can i slow down my pace?
i dunno.
but i believe in God, the One who makes me so special.

Leaders are people who do things that people do not understand =)

; Love me, Love me Not

12:40 AM

Friday, November 17, 2006

i understand what it mean by God's words. and indeed what He came true. my parents wanted me to complete my studies, and i saw His word amazingly. He ask me to finish my studies and He knew that my parents wont allowed me to quit, and yeah my father did allowed me to work, but slowly i will build my future, the future that belongs to my God.

my passion for joining my part time job is the same as my nursing part. and through Wendy i saw something. why must be her? because she's an nurse lol! difference is only i am a male and she's a female haha=D. tired as i am everyday, struggling to wake up from bed everyday, yet i still commit to find a lot of work for myself to do. currently i am holding three things, ECP progamming, part time job and nursing education. like what others said, i may not want to be a nurse after i finish. everyday 12 or 1am to 6am, my sleeping time. praise God that i am still able to able to hold on. and by God's Grace i am trying to help overall in charge, more work, more commitment hurray!

throughout my life journey, all i wanted is to outreach to people, and save them. =)

between two, because one is too structured while one is flexible. more to come woo hoo.
trying my best to break Singapore's merit system, be a leader, and more and more! woo.. going to be a busy man lol. a worldly poor and physically rich man lol. projects coming up, attachment coming up. what my body can gives is nothing but, it's my spirit is always buring with God's love. =) thank God.

Here i stand
Lord i pray.

May i encounter You, my God, everyday like sunday.

Leaders do what people do not understand. =)

; Love me, Love me Not

5:25 PM

Thursday, November 16, 2006

well well, everyday, suffering from lack of sleep, and poor body consitution, and today i skipped 5 hours of lectures. and till now i finally realised that nursing doesnt really suits me, in some sense.

what's my plan? keep you guys in mystery first.
but Abba ask me to study finish first if I am not that able to handle my worries. well well, my dear Father in Heaven, you have the best for me, and yes, i will take you have given to me, and i finally underestand the reason for not letting me to get the sponsorship, thanks my Lord.

thank you Lord for giving me such a good spiritual and biological family. My daddy, my brothers, uncles and yuppy strong faith grandfather! haha! =D.

Last Sunday, amazingly, i felt His heartbeat. He has told me the truth. Hallelujah! =). i felt the peace, sweet and wonderful feeling, serenity and calmness are observed. thus my soul rest. may my Lord forgives me. =)

it's too amazing to describe.
see it, visualise it, feel it, and you know. =)
allow me to align to Your heart. =)

Children is a blessing to all nations, they are descedants of Abraham, your brothers and sisters. try this out ba. make this world a better place. =) http://www.lightamillioncandles.com.

Leaders are special people.
whatever they are doing, you can never understand. =)

; Love me, Love me Not

12:45 AM

The innocent victims of Internet child abuse cannot speak for themselves. But you can. With your help, we can eradicate this evil trade. We do not need your money. We need you to light a candle of support <http://www.lightamillioncandles.com>. We're aiming to light at least One Million Candles by December 31, 2006. This petition will be used to encourage governments, politicians, financial institutions, payment organisations, Internet service providers, technology companies and law enforcement agencies to eradicate the commercial viability of online child abuse.They have the power to work together. You have the power to get them to take action. Please light your candle at lightamillioncandles.com <http://www.lightamillioncandles.com> or send an email of support to light@lightamillioncandles.com. Together, we can destroy the commercial viability of Internet child abuse sites that are destroying the lives of innocent children. Kindly forward this email to your friends, relatives and work colleagues so that they can light a candle too.
Child porn... sure someone from above will take care these blessed children, Abba, have forgive them.

; Love me, Love me Not

12:44 AM

Sunday, November 05, 2006

today, tired.
stressed? kinda. =)

dependent on God?
Lord I dun want to be lead by others, i want to lead others!

and yup i wanna give thanks!

thanks to Him, my stomach disorder is recovering fast. my stomach can contain a lot of air, dunno why.. zzz.

a lot of things going on. i think yesterday was the worst or the day before.
the day before slept around 2am plus, then go to orh orh. 6 am wake up. then play maple a while before going out. however went to planet crush is like very early, then go and hav breakfast.

the afternoon is a fun one. we have our tribe family day!
it's so fun! got straw tower, team tent building, dodge ball and last but not least, pair soccer. and after that still got an hour of soccer, all very pro sia... zzz i am so noob lol, never been good at it lol. then after that, went for dinner at harbourfront hawker. white carrot cake is nice with chilli, and of cos "ramen"! not really ramen but it's handmade noodles. "auntie! jia men!" then was there sucking up all the noodles... makes me think of HG noodles and soup movement, a well flavoured bandung. sad no pictures. haha=D

after that, i went off first, and saw no bus, some more so many people waiting, then i called yilong to jalah jalah around vivo. super big, but nothing for us to shop, cos our pockets are... empty plus a lot of invisible "holes" lol. e-zone, to play with gabriel and found that, wow, all my brothers are good at gaming lol. gaming machines wahaha!

wah recently kinda stressed by ECP stuffs. because both my programme ICs dunno the games, and recent changes, cannot ask them to do much also. hope can get a rest soon, but even my Lord is not rest, why should I? because i am a human. everyone is different but within us, the Spirit of God is strong, depend on it, endless energy will be flowing through, determination is thus rise and the perseverance last.

Praise God that i talked to Chris today. a new breakthrough and yup i cant saw my mistake, till today, the dependence on God. i forget that everything will pass except Him, a human's view. change my new method of doing, everything places in God's hand, find myself in him again, and winning the lost souls of His.

okay i will stop here. cya guys around.

God bless and be thankful =).

never give up, for He has never given you up. =)

; Love me, Love me Not

11:34 PM

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

my last post sounded kinda depth within lol.
finding back what i belong and what i was, and is. for i dun live in and for the past, but the present and future. everyday is a beautiful day. every lady is a beauty and yup all men are handsome, though i dun have much confidence in myself lol. anyway today though of a lot of personality, somehow, it's kinda wrong. everything has its different sides of face, good and bad.

an example, a pyramid, which has 5 faces, 4 side and 1 base. each face is so different from each other in the angle of light. when light is directly shining on 1 face, the others will be dark. this shows that, even when one is getting all the rewards do not forget people who is making effort at the back. it's because of the the 3 other sides and the base is supporting the one, which is being shone by light, that's why it can be shone by the light.

and yuppy! i want to gives thanks! =D

it's because of God's grace, and the leaving of the others, then i am be able to Chris's son. (though i dunno whether is it a good thing or not.) maybe my voice is being heard by God, God replied to me with His voice. Praise God, kinda funny though. i still remember that time i am asking myself when am i under wei min but not Chris. lol. lets hope Chris wont get angry when he heard this lol =X. or maybe it's all predestinied? i dunno. the feeling of seeing things left away but cannot do anything is real bad, especially when God entrust it under your hands and you lost it, thinking that you can never be accountable for that. however, i think it's all a type of training, if things are not being lost, how did the person, who lost the stuffs, treasures it? maybe it's a great price, but there's a valuable lesson within and i believe it's sure something behind it.
it may sounds like a humans' choices but, God will sure make something out of it for you to learn. winning and saving souls is certainly great, but to learn something from God is something more valuable than those things.

and by God's grace i found this family, a real gracious and loving family. everyone puts in effort, commitment, love, blessings, prayers, and the most important thing, is FAITH, especially faith from Christoper Fun.. hees! my a-pa again! so proud sia! haha!=D
Faith in God. the head of family must have the strongest faith otherwise, even the faith within the members are stronger, the family will still fall apart, because the head has lost hope, and the rest will slowly dies off, like a kerosene lamp without much oil left. His faith for Yilong to return is still burning, and of course mine too! =D * wah not bad sia, my faith can stand with him =) hees!=D*

compared to other cells, ours is a real good one. most of the spiritual leaders seems to fall away when they are busy with work, however, Chris still make out time for that, Praise God that He refreshes Chris's soul everything. Hallelujah! =D
appreciate that, man, Dad! =D

ah! also thanks my brothers and my real daddy, that they drives this lazy me to school everyday, haha! God bless them!

those who are having illnesses and just recovered, jia you wor.. God is with you guys, no longer you will feel weary, and you will be refreshes by Lord.

Lord
i longed to see Your Face,
may Your Glory fills Our place.

everything will fall in place, everything will begin,
Because of the simple faith that i am simply believing in You =).

~ a leader, nuturing and building up lives, submitting and follow to His ways, having a revolutionary mind of ideas! ~

; Love me, Love me Not

8:38 PM

Sunday, October 29, 2006

tired and fatigue. hope my soul will be able rest later. =)

well this week has been good. nowadays busying with church stuffs. they said everything i do alone, but they didnt come and listen they know what to do ma? everyone is always busying with their stuffs. out of them, i seems to be the most free de.

though a lot of parts of my life is still unable to fix, i believe that as time goes, every step will present an answer. for now, i will like to see the world. how the world is like, how is the people living doing and yup kinda affected by that. affected by looks, materials, freedom of life, pleasure, characteristic and behavior of human beings, and yup kinda sick to stick with life, keep following and given instruction to do my stuffs, do do do, follow follow follow... but still need to thank God for the journey mercy =).

dun ask me what to do, because when you guys everytime ask me what to do, i also dunno. first thing i am afraid of giving instructions, then if something went wrong, i scared being scolded by a whole group of people, then i sianz the whole day. secondly i am not leader. i know my boundaries, and yup to a certain extend of our nursing career, there's some parts we cannot, and to me, i seems to be bothering too much stuffs le. time to let go some? i think so. =)

past few days, i have been reflecting, i am kinda lost, dunno what to do, i dun wish my life just sleep, study, eat, work, study, eat, work, sleep. kinda plain and nothing much, and i think it's time for me to get hold of my life. waiting for God to drop something from heaven is possible, but you have to wait long long~, that is something i dun like, wait. patience i sure have, but do allow me to have the time to "digest" all my patience pills to absorb the power of patience before i can have the patience to wait for you.

somehow, hope, determination, and some more stuffs kept flashing in my mind and heart. I believe that is something from God, sure it is. to get hold back my life, i will like to try something destructive like torturing people? maybe or not.

i was talking to yilong recently about some stuffs between religions, especially christianty. only christians can be together with christians? has it become so common that it has turned into a trend? why must our leaders do that? what is the purpose at the start of love? why is man so practical when comes into relationship? knowing that even the relationship does not belongs to both but God and whole family, but why people is using as a goal to be together? if only people under the same church are working towards the same goal and must have the thrive for God's work, then can be together, where are real reasons, real feelings behind the relationship? if feelings cannot be trusted, where are the things behind marriage? and marriage is just simply for multiplying? if feelings can be made up and nuture within marriage, what is called true love? if like all people, dun need to have marriage? even better, save money. Jesus just died once to set us free, so?!

what i sensed is that there's no God inside in these questions. it's mostly human desires, pleasure, fun and short being-felt-loved-feeling moment. there's no need to relationship, and i dun like to say that, but that's the truth, but after all, we are human. i dun like to the feeling of hardening of heart of saying these, and say that God can do everything for you, He can provide that everything to you. amazing? i wrote that all myself and i am rebuking myself lol. sounds contradicting though.

after all, it's all human perspectives. no one will know it at the end of the day, can you think what God is thinking? what is inside the bible is just a part only, not too little for human to understand and appreciate, not too much for human to understand how much is His Wisdom. this is simply amazing. =)

as a human, I cant do much though lol.
simply submitting to You.
knowing Your heartbeat.
thanks Lord for Your Grace, Love, Faith and everything.
guide me slowly to You. =)

~ a leader, nuturing and building up lives, submitting and follow to His ways, having a revolutionary mind of ideas! ~

; Love me, Love me Not

8:18 PM