dunno what's me in her sight...? maybe just a childish guy who having fun and talk around with gals.. haha! sometimes really feel kinda useless. seeing my class gals in trouble or my family members in trouble or her in trouble, cant help or do anything =). to a certain extent, yup i am weak. "try your best" is a lame excuse. geez, my inferior feelings are back...! either my spiritual or my biological family and my classmates, often i will try to give them the best. As a man, i seems to fail... a very bad guy. Lust is over me, eyes are running around, guilt and shame is on me... and woo there is still more! just a few simple sentences from them, my confidence was shaken. "ni hen mei you yong leh" and other stuffs from their mouths can really kill me. i dun care about the others. yet i was glad that people still trust me. lol... hiding my truth from others... the truth that only Christ, the elder ones know only. life is pretty in a mess now... my curiosity always kills my appeitite, yet there is a need for me to know about the people's world. should i stop bothering and be someone at the back? i dunno. so far in sch, i dun wish to bother any stuff or anything cos i dunno what to do with them. haiz, disappointed with myself and in my life. Glad that there is still Dad, and God... otherwise it will be a mess. Lord has placed Samuel and me well enough. He often reminds me of my mistakes...good one!he told me a lot of things. hmmm it's time to repent on my sins everyday! my old sins should be taken out and i shall repent on them! time to slow down my pace lo. i should hav always done that. haha...what is happening to me..?? why am i changing so much...?? humble myself? where am i? *confusion!!!* for one thing i am sure. my heart is numb. i dunno what happened. maybe i am too focused on her le. stupid me. it's time for me to tune back my life lo before i can even take care of others lol. I will humble myself, treat me as a servant of God. be considerate. What am I? I am nothing but just a handful of dust. =)