today, felt very helpless =)
i didnt forget that God is with me, but kinda ashamed and guilty that about myself and things i have done. dunno what happened to me, it's like a type of helplessness in me.
i have lost my laughter, my joy within Lord, manipulating of my emotions.
but i never lost the touch from Lord, even though almost. phew! kinda close to that =P.
i have been always believing that Lord is with me, draw close to Him and He will draw close to you.
hallelujah! Praise the Lord. time to be a decisive man lo! able to put down things and make decisions, of cos never regret that. i just dun like others say that, "hey this guy give up of her becos of God." and yeah that was the start... and that will also be the ending. finiding my sense of security back in Lord, i hope i can learn ew things again from Him. I will take back all my abilities that my Lord has given me.
well i am kinda happy that today a patient told me, " he bring joy to work". how wonderful can that be =D. able to put that hypocrite smile under my feeling of confusion and depressed was my ability. maybe i felt secure when working with my partners! what great partners i have. they really give me sense of security in my work and make me stand back... thanks guys! =)
muahaha! back to what i am in Lord's eyes. for my Lord is gracious, i am allowed to be what i am again, for my sense of security not being found in man but in my Father in Heaven, Praise His Name at the Highest... woo hoo!
geez it seems like i took and wasted too much time on it. time to get back to life. and yeah if i fall again, sure next time i will find ah pa out! =D
of cos between that i learnt a lot of things lol. really a lot. maybe there's more for me, but i guess what i am seeing is the basic. well everything still must get to basic, so i must make my basic sturdy enough for me to proceed on.
a relationship is a blessing.
a relationship is a commitment.
a relationship is compromising each other.
a relationship is something that you have to place your both palms up.
a relationship is not something that feed only to your selfish desires.
a relationship is not everything.
a relationship must be built from scratch.
only after all the commitment and other stuffs, then there will be love, but both partners must appreciate each other works, and that's when all sweet stuffs and blah blah blah comes in... lol. the future imagination cannot fills one.
i always asked those who have been hurt by relationships, and most of them say wait for the anointed one, right one. and everytime i heard this i felt like laughing lol. not meant to hurt those gals, but allow me to say this. what happened the one you married is not the chosen one from Lord, and does that mean that everything will screw up?if yes, the whole world will be a mess! hey gals, wake up!! if you think that is, nope you are wrong. let me tell you the truth, Lord will bless those who believed that Jesus died for them on the Cross.
maybe sometimes you need some fate to know that guy or gal, but mostly is on commitment, and those who think they are ready, allow me to ask you a question. are you ready to give up your everything for Lord, your family and your better half? =)
that will means a lot of things. less time with your family. Priortise our Father. and lack of sleeping time, so on and so for. there is a lot of things to consider. and do you believe that there is no need to go into relationship? i know the truth and i do believe. the Lord can give you anything as long as you asked. so asked Him to give you the feeling =).
there is actually no need for relationship. but i decided to give it a try again. i want to grow with that lady i wanted to be with, to bless her and take care of her. may sound selfish but that's me =). surely i wanted to repent on that cos it's selfish =). but there is something that is very important about the relationship. do not change the person's behaviour. you can slightly change it but everyone is unique and specially created under His Image, and of cos we are not perfect so dun ask for much. if can try to correct each other's bad points, and if cant compromise. =). though it may sounds easy but this requires a lot of trust and confidence within one.
wah 12:14... must blog fast.. otherwise no need to kun le... ehhh
today stopped here. there's still more tomorrow! woo hoo...!
the simple love i am holding is past to Him,
since i Believe in Him =)